Congrats, you successfully made it down the aisle! You survived the wedding planning madness, the family reunions and the stressful (and hopefully lovely) wedding day shenanigans. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you felt about all the planning) you’ve still got one wedding related task left…and it’s a doozy: writing your wedding thank you cards.
Before you find yourself falling into a frenzy of panic over having to write hundreds of thank you notes, take a moment to catch your breath… And remember that there are people (and tools) out there to help you achieve even the most daunting of tasks — such as writing your wedding thank you notes! Speaking of which, we’ve got a simple step by step process you can follow along with tips and message examples that’ll definitely come in handy!
Table of Contents:
Who to send a wedding thank you to?
Wording examples for everyone on your wedding thank you list.
How to write wedding thank you cards in one sitting.
Common mistakes to avoid.
Choosing the right wedding thank you design.
Let’s start this post off with one of the most important tips you’ll want to keep in your back pocket as you make your way gratituding it up all over the place… Remember, your wedding day would not have been nearly as special without the help of your loved ones. Your friends and family deserve a proper thank you–all 250 of them. They didn’t complain when you asked them to be present for cake tastings and flower showings. They didn’t moan and groan (we hope) during the wedding set up. Now it’s your turn to tell them just how much you appreciated their positive influence and energy during the whole process.
Given the current quarantine state of affairs, this is the perfect time to knock this forever-on-your-to-do-list task right out of the park! So no more procrastinating, let’s get those wedding thank you cards mailed.
Getting started writing your wedding thank you notes.
Quick tip: Splitting the list up between the bride and groom is the an easy way to get your wedding thank you notes done on time. Each partner can write to the people they’re closest to and don’t forget to include both names in all the notes (either in the body of the message or signoff).
Write all of your wedding thank you notes in minutes and Postable will mail them for you! (YES, we use real USPS stamps)
When should you send out wedding thank you cards?
Great question! If this was your first thought, either you’ve got a serious case of organization and are looking to expertly map out your plan of action. OR you’re wondering how large your procrastination window might be. Either way — the answer is simple.
Send your wedding thank you notes right away. The sooner the better. That’s the short answer. The more realistic is likely that you’ll want to mail them out as soon as you get back from honeymoon (or about 3-4 months after the wedding).
Who to send a wedding thank you to?
Use your wedding guest list to make a list of all the wedding thank you notes you’ll need to write. When a gift comes in just write down what each person gave next to his or her name to neatly keep track. It’s also a good idea to note down if anyone went out of their way to help you with the big day that may slip your mind when it comes time to write. Did your high school best friend step in when the wedding coordinator needed help setting up the reception? You’ll want to mention this in your note.
- The folks that gave you an engagement, shower, or wedding gift. Yes, even if you already gave them your heartfelt thank you in person – they should still get a thank you note.
- They came, they saw, and you got wed. Your friends and family went out of their way to spend your special day with them, don’t forget to thank them.
- Anyone who hosted a party or shower for you. Hosting is a huge responsibility; consider gifting a little something along with the thank you note.
- Anyone who helped you through your wedding process. That co-worker who helped you put together the goodie bags for the bridal shower deserves a thank you note.
- Your parents.
- Bridal Party. Your maid of honor kept her cool when you were about to loose yours. Thank her for that.
Wording examples for everyone on your wedding thank you list.
The Bridal party.
The Bridal party was there for you from the very beginning (or at least from the point of you asking them to participate). Everything from helping with planning the bachelor weekend getaway to fluffing your wedding dress at the altar; the bridal party has helped make your wedding as special as possible. Make sure to take note of their extra special place in your wedding while writing their thank you note.
Keep it simple, your bridal party is likely the closest group of friends you and your partner have. Using elaborate fancy language that you wouldn’t normally use in your day to day with these people will make the note seem impersonal and insincere. Keep it simple and honest.
How can I ever thank you for all that you’ve done for our wedding?! You really took the maid of honor role seriously. I’m so glad you were there with me the through the whole planning process, your crazy awesome coordination skills were greatly appreciated! I can’t wait to return the favor next year (eeek). Let’s get the boys together soon.
Thank you cards for guests who didn’t attend
Those lovely people in your life who were thoughtful enough to send you a gift, but couldn’t make it to the wedding should also be getting a personal thank you note. Be careful not to make them feel bad about missing your special day while still thanking them.
Dear Uncle Marshall & Aunt Lilly,
The lovely platter you sent was so incredibly thoughtful, thank you! We actually just hosted our first dinner party last week and I was so excited that I got to use it (it was the perfect addition to our dinner table)! We’re sorry you guys couldn’t make it to the wedding, but we know you were celebrating with us in spirit. Can’t wait to see you guys when we come up for a visit.
Sending you our love,
Lyn & Josh
Wedding thank you note for money
Dear Ken & Mary,
We were so pleased that you could make it to our wedding! Your generous gift will be put to good use as we work on remodeling our new house and turning it into our home. We’ll never forget those crazy dance moves of yours, thanks so much for coming to the wedding. We’re excited to have ya’ll over for dinner very soon!
Love you guys,
Joseph & Christine
Wedding thank you note for vendors
Sure, money was exchanged, but if you were lucky enough to have vendors who made your special day extraordinary why not spend a couple minutes expressing your gratitude? You’ll likely make their day too.
Dear Edmund & the Rhodes Team,
Thank you so much for being so attentive on our special day and for helping Tom get over feeling so awkward, he had a blast with the bridal photos. You and your team did an extraordinary job making sure no special moment went un-photographed, we can’t wait to see the photos!
How to write wedding thank you cards in one sitting.
The idea of writing hundreds of thank you notes starting to give you nightmares of giant cards chasing you down a dark alley? Yikes. Stress level through the roof.
Not to worry. Wedding thank you notes don’t have to take forever. And they most certainly don’t have to stress you out. Getting those bad boys out of the way as soon as you’ve returned from the honeymoon is so much easier than you know.
Exactly how long will it take?
Well, this depends on you. But you could get them all out of the way in one sitting, depending on the amount of personalization you have made ahead of time.
Using Postable to manage and write all of your wedding thank you notes.
Okay, now that you know what to avoid you’re ready to hit the ground writing. If you’re going to write all of your thank yous by hand — may the force of all forces be with you! If you want to streamline the process — without losing the personal touch — we’ve got three easy steps anyone can follow to finish their wedding thank you notes once and for all.
- Step 1: Have a list of your gift-giving guests ready to rumble.
- Step 2: Write your thank you message.
- Step 3: Sit back & relax (Postable will do all the heavy lifting for you)!
Step 1. Have your gift-giving guest list ready.
If you used Postable to collect your wedding addresses (and to send your save the dates) then your Postable address book will already have your guest list. If not, you can easily import a spreadsheet.
Don’t have your free Postable account? It’s cool, we can still be friends.
Step 2. Write your thank yous!
Choose one of Postable’s delightful wedding thank you notes. You can even use one of the hundreds of beautiful wedding photos you’ve been dying to share with a photo wedding thank you card!
Use our handy Carbon Copy tool to create a simple generic message and apply it to all your cards at once. Then, go back into each individual card and personalize it further. This is where your notes on who gave you what will come in handy. Use this to mention the gift in the personal message and make sure to let them know why you’re appreciative.
Don’t forget to play around with Postable’s selection of delightful handwritten fonts. We won’t tell, nobody has to know 😉
Step 3. Sit back, relax & enjoy!
The only thing left to do is click the big green checkout button. Postable will print, address & mail all your wedding thank you notes for you. No fuss. No muss. Go ahead and use all that extra time to sit back and enjoy a well-deserved cocktail!
Common wedding thank you card mistakes to avoid
A few additional things to keep in mind as you begin your wedding thank you journey… These 7 wedding thank you note mistakes to avoid at all costs! A bit too dramatic? Forgive us, the wedding drama is still very much in the air.
Regardless. There are a handful of wedding thank you card no-nos that we really believe should be deal-breakers. However, we’re also quite big on folks playing by their own rules. So with that — do what you will with these wedding thank you card mishaps.
1. Leaving someone out.
You should be sending thank you cards to everyone who gave you an engagement, bridal shower or wedding gift. PLUS anyone who had an important role in your big day.
- Bridal Party
- Involved family members
- Anyone who showed up and threw some dough your way
- Anyone who sent you a gift in their absence
Your bridal party put up with your crazy-ness (as lovely as it might be) for months, they deserve a little thanks. Your vendors were hopefully everything you were hoping they’d be so yes, even though you’ve paid them — show them some extra love with a thank you note. Your family members drove you to numerous cake tastings and dress fittings, let them know you noticed their extra effort to make your day special. And the rest of the folks who came to your big day. Not everyone was able to make it to your wedding, but if you received a gift from anyone at all — make sure to send them a thank you.
To avoid missing someone and awkwardly running into them months later, write down names as the gifts roll in. Keep an ongoing spreadsheet or notepad where you write down the gift/gesture with each person’s name next to it. This way, when you sit down to write your thank yous, you can just cross the names off the list.
2. Misspelling your your guests’ names.
Check and double check that guest list to make sure every impossible-to-pronounce, is-that-even-a-name name gets spelled correctly. Also, don’t forget to include the name of your guests’ plus ones. If you aren’t sure of someone’s name or how its spelled, do some detective work and ask around. Chances are, someone else you know will have the inside scoop on spelling the name(s) correctly. Someone’s gotta be Facebook friends with them, right?
3. Mixing up who attended and who did not.
We get it, you had a big wedding and it’s hard keeping track of all those names and faces. Still, don’t give it away by thanking someone who couldn’t make it for being there or forgetting to thank someone who did attend. Hint hint, check the cards that came with the gifts–usually a guest who couldn’t be there will say something like “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to be there for your special day”.
Of course as we’ve already mentioned, you should still thank someone for a wedding gift even though they couldn’t make it. You can even mention that you were sad to have missed them, but their gift is truly appreciated!
4. Writing the same generic message for everyone.
“Dear ____, Thank you so much for the gift, we love it. John & I were so happy that you could be there for our special day. Miss you and hope to see you soon” sounds just as boring and impersonal as it looks. Remember, these people love and cherish you and took the time to look through your 50 page long registry just to pick out the perfect salad spinner. They deserve a thoughtful, well-written, personalized thank you note.
Luckily for you, Postable’s Carbon Copy tool lets you apply the same master message to all 250 recipients at one time. This way, you can go into each note and personalize it further (personalization is KEY).
5. Sending an e-card.
Sending an e-card may be fine for St. Patrick’s Day, but this was your wedding. One of the most important days of your life that you’re about to show gratitude for.
Although it might seem oh-so-tempting to send out 300 of those e-cards with the animated cherubs, DON’T. Wedding thank you cards are one of those occasions where snail mail is an absolute must. Does your 85 year-old grandmother who gave you the family china even know what e-mail is?
C’mon, people get your head in the game!
6. Taking a million years to send ’em.
Once upon a time someone started a rumor saying that it was acceptable for couples to send their thank you cards within a year of the wedding. This is a horrible lie that is making Emily Post roll over in her grave as we speak. You’ve got a maximum of 5 to 6 months to get those suckers in the mail. We get that you’re busy being newlyweds and all, but if your guests have forgotten what they gave you by the time your wedding thank yous arrive, then you’re doing it wrong.
Also, better late than never. But always better on time than late. [See: What to Write in Late Wedding Thank You Notes]
Get your wedding thank you cards ahead of time and have them ready to rumble when the gifts start rolling in — often times these come in before you walk down the aisle. OR write and send your notes via Postable as they start coming in.
7. Write a novel.
This really applies to just about any thank you note you’ll ever need to write, but it’s worth mentioning here. Don’t write a novel. This is a wedding thank you note, not your PhD thesis. Keep it short and sweet. Try not to overthink this — just get to the point.
Choosing the right wedding thank you note.
Picking out the perfect design for your wedding thank you note can — at first — seem overwhelming. But just like everything else, if you break it down, the process is really manageable and actually quite fun!
First, decide if you’re going to use a photo.
If you spent a fortune on wedding or engagement photos and you’re dying to use them somewhere other than filling up your Instagram feed then using a custom photo wedding thank you card may be right for you.
Pick out some of your favorite photos with some variety. Choose some images that will work both with a horizontal and a vertical card design. Also try to pick out a couple where the two of you are either in a corner of the image or at the bottom — leaving enough space for the card design.
Once you’ve picked out your images, start looking at designs and uploading your images to see where they’d fit best.
Non-photo thank you cards option.
If you’re not interested in using one of your own photos to upload to a custom card, you’ve got plenty of other options! You can choose a wedding thank you note that matches the colors of your wedding theme or perhaps something that just matches the feel. For example, if you had a beach wedding a beach themed wedding thank you note would work really well.
At the same time, you can choose whatever wedding thank you note design tickles your fancy. There are a ton of designs to choose from out there in the world… Part of the fun is just picking out your favorite!